This is just a silly picture I took of Allie the other day, she walked into the room like this , I thought she looked pretty cute!
I am having a horrible case of the guilt's these days. I feel like I am failing miserably at this mother of 2 thing I have going on. No one ever told me just how hard it would be to have 2 kids under the age of 2! I love my girls so much and wish I had about 4 more hands so that I could give them everything they wanted when they wanted it.
Poor Allie cried herself to sleep tonight and didn't get any books read to her and was put to be 20 minutes early because London was screaming and I was in tears! I just couldn't do it so I put Allie to bed and she was so sad which only made me even more sad. I feel so bad for her because I don't think she understands this whole new baby thing. She loves London and is so cute with her and takes such good care of her but doesn't understand that when London is nursing I can't just jump up and help her or when London is screaming I can't just set her down and read to Allie. I'm sure the poor girl feels so neglected since we had London and I feel so bad. I have really been trying to just focus all my attention on Allie when London is asleep. I've been telling myself it's okay that there are 3 load of laundry that need done, it's okay that I haven't vacuumed in 4 days, who needs a clean house anyway, right!? I started cleaning my bathroom at about 10 this morning and I still haven't gotten around to mopping them and the rugs are still in the washing machine and here it is almost 9 pm and I can pretty much guarantee you it won't happen tonight.
Anyway that's my venting, I'm feeling like a terrible mother as I go to bed tonight and all I can say is I am so glad I have tomorrow to try again!
13 comments:
I totally went through a breakdown after 2 kids too! I'm glad I'm not the only one, but I don't know how anyone else does it!? Anyways, I was told some good advice once to always answer to the older child first at this stage since they are so sensitive...the younger child will be okay if she cries for a few min. longer...I need to take that advice sometimes...but good luck!
I do remember those days! Brooke wanted to throw Tucker out the window. I sometimes wondered where i went wrong but i later came to the conclusion that it's all o.k. they will grow out of it!!!! Now you know why I'm not ready for 3!!
Well, I think how you are feeling is totally normal. We all go through it! It is hard to have them both crying all at one time or have the older ones coming to ask Mommy for something when you just cant get it but this is just the 'adjustment' phase and pretty soon you will wonder how in the world you got through it but everyone does! Just keep praying for the strength to "do it all" and know that Heavenly Father would never have given you two such beautiful gifts if you could not be an absolutely amazing and wonderful Mother to them!!! He ALWAYS proves that He knows best...in easy AND tough times!
Oh Annie- you are doing a great job! Don't get too down on yourself! Allie is such a happy girl, she knows you love her!
Welcome tho the world of more than one baby! I am glad you have 3 loads yet to be done and so is Allie and London! You are an awesome mom!
Annie, Annie, Annie. Maybe my 6 loads of laundry will make you feel a little bit better! You are doing fine and your girls know that you love them even if they cry sometimes. Buck up, you are an amzing mom and it is OK to not be able to do everything. SMILE! :)
I experienced this same thing! I agree with the responding to the older child first. It gets better, I promise. For a few months it will be hard, but when London gets a little less needy it will all be fine. You will love them being close in age one day- I PROMISE! They'll be the best of buddies. Just do what you can do each day and don't get overwhelmed. We love you!
Motherhood is definitely a challenge. It is harder than I ever imagined. Throwing a third into the mix is really a challenge. The only thing that gets me through is to ask for Divine help! Hang in there; we are all struggling with being "good" moms.
Annie I can't pretend I know what you're going through. I just wanted to say I know that you are an amazingly sweet and selfless woman and I know that you are an amazing mom. All you can do is take it day by day, and 1 load of laundry at a time! Hang in there! You have two beautiful little girls by the way!
Oh Annie,
I completely understand mine are 18 mths apart. I remeber people used to say you'll love it they'll be friends, and I wanted to punch them in the mouth because I had two babies that were always screaming. But, guess what they are friends now. I can do whatever I want and they will just play it is fabulous. So hang in there it will get better I promise. I always go to bed with wet clothes in the washer to. I thinks its just part of life.
I have little tears in my eyes for you. Having the second baby was harder for me than 3 or 4. Giving up my one on one time was very heartbreaking for me.
The good news is that soon, the two of them will love eachother so much and they will learn to be unselfish and to care for one another. There are so many qualities they can only develop witih a sibling. It just takes time to get over that little hump.
Coleman was mean to me for about 2 weeks after Halle was born. He slowly adjusted and so did I. And now...I can't imagine life with only one.
The laundry can totally wait! Hang in there & know you are not alone. Those of us who have multiple children have all been in the same boat at one time or another. You are fabulous & are doing a wonderful job. Your girls are so sweet & are so lucky to have you as their Mommy! Hang in there!
Oh my gosh, your little girl is adorable!!! She looks so much like you! I hope all is well for you guys!
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